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Beggar in the coffee shop

December 9, 2012

Yes! Lmao

Lance Phillips


“Hi guys. Sorry to bother you. I am not begging. Just trying to make a living.” and so the story starts. It’s like that spam message that says it’s not spam. The moment you see that line, you just know that it is. “You see. I bought this [sic] sunglasses yesterday for R99 ($11) and someone stole my money at the shelter last night.” He looks around furtively as the smell wafts over you. In some cultures, it may have been quite delicate, that unmistakeable blend of body odour, piss and 99% proof vomit. In mine, the sledgehammer bashes against the side of my head and I see stars until a heroic breeze bats it aside. His face bears the scars of too many days in the sun, the blistering remnants of some wino cage match long since obliterated by methylated spirits filtered through a loaf of white bread. He…

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